Missing Molly

I can't believe we've been without Molly for 3 weeks. I can't begin to tell you how much we miss her. I don't know if non-dog people will understand how we feel, but those of you who are will. There is a huge emptiness in our lives. We frequently forget that she's gone, and then when we're reminded it's devastating. For example, we were driving home from visiting with friends last night and I was happy to think about getting home, letting her out of her crate, watching her tear around the yard, getting lots of pats from us. Then I remembered that wasn't going to happen, and I was crushed. Even something as small as dropping a piece of cheese on the floor reminds us that she's gone. I have trouble sleeping some nights, hoping we did the right thing, and that she had a good life with us. There is always guilt - about making the final decision, wondering if we should have played with her more, walked her more, and just spent more time with her in general. She brought so much to our lives, yet I worry that we didn't give her the same in return. And I can't change that now. It's too late.

I think having Sasha here the other evening really brought it home to us. Having a dog that wasn't Molly in the house just seemed wrong, much as we liked Sasha.

I know it will get better with time, but right now, we're still struggling. She really was our "baby dog".